Passions and some speical guests
by doggie8989
Summary: Centered mainly around Teressa's pregnency. It may offend some die hard fans, but I find it quite funny...


Ethan and that other girl. uhh..Charitin? no no..uh..hmm Theresa! That's it (and I had to go onto a site to find it)  
  
Ah yes, anyway, this story is about Passions. I'm trying for Elysia  
  
Kay's spells were starting to work. But once again (surprise surprise), the spell was accidentally cased into another world onto.that's right (sorry elysia, not my fault) MULDER AND SCULLY! NOOO! But, they love and care about each other sooo much, that all it did was have them discover an X- File about Mulders past! Turns out somehow, that Mulder has a step 2nd cousin he never knew about, so decided to give him a visit. His name is. Ethan!! Hehe. Ya, so anyway, Mulder asks Scully to some along, seeing how he's not a people person. Besides, they've gotten a tip that there's some freak witch over there with an ugly talking doll. What a messed up family, as Mulder said, "Like step 2nd cousin, like step 2nd cousin"(it's suppose to be the thing like father like son). So they pack their bags and off to wherever they live. Maybe passions? Or harmony? Well, they go there, don't worry. Meanwhile.  
  
Teressea:"I can't tell him bla bla, I just can't tell him about the baby I had with Mr. Crane"  
  
Some person: But you have to! You have to tell Ethan  
  
Teresa: but he might kill people, besides, I'm such an idiot I might as well see how stupid I can get right?  
  
Some person who looks like they will cry: ya, sniff guess so.  
  
E*Ethan enters*  
  
Ethan: Teresa honey! My step 2nd cousin, Fox Mold, o, no, Mulder, he's coming to visit! With his friend Dana Skull. O.no..it's Scully. Ya, but there gonna help us explain all the strange stuff that's been going on. They're with the FBI!  
  
Teresa: FBI?!  
  
Ethan: ya. Something wrong?  
  
Teresa: stupid smile o no, nothing wrong.  
  
Teresa somehow goes to Mr. Crane  
  
Mr. Crane: Teresa! FBI! They might figure out that we had a baby!  
  
Teresa: ya I KNOW!! I guess I better just keep making more lies huh?  
  
Mr. Crane: it's the best for everyone  
  
Meanwhile..  
  
Tabatha: Timmy! The Fbi's coming! (how did she know that? Eh, o well)  
  
Timmy: don't wowy Tabby, they all scientisty. They no figure it out  
  
Tabatha: I hope your right Timmy! Or were fried chicken! Has that face that she gets that bugs me  
  
Meanwhile, a like few hours or a day later..  
  
Mulder:uh, well hi Ethan, I'm your distant relative Mulder, o, yes, do call me Mulder, and this is my partner, Dana. Um..my..friend. *thinks to himself "hehe.and looover"*  
  
Scully: nice to meet you..all of you.  
  
Ethan: glad you guys could make it! We have like a room for you guys already.  
  
Scully: o, uh..um..hmm  
  
Mulder: I think you mean rooms  
  
Ethan: o, damn, I thought u guys were like, married  
  
Mulder: um..i did say that me and my PARTNER were coming, being in the FBI, I thought you might be able to assume that didn't mean marriage partner  
  
Ethan: we're too poor to get you guys another room and all. With the baby and everything.o.oops.DAMN!  
  
Teresa stares at Ethan  
  
Teresa: WHAT!?!?!?!? HOW DID U KNOW!?  
  
.dada da..to be continued..right now!  
  
Ethan: uh.what? Huh..  
  
Teresa: Don't lie!  
  
Ethan: look who's talking miss lier lier pants on fire  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Mulder: I'm glad those guys told us where we could find Timmy and Tabatha (yes, they DID know. You guys aren't too bright huh?)  
  
Scully: ya Mulder, even I'm happy to get away from those freaks to a good ol' X-File  
  
Mulder: guess we should look in that cave huh  
  
Scully: ya.For gods sake Mulder, what the hell are we doing in this stupid soap opra?  
  
Mulder: remember? Megan was bored.  
  
Scully: o, ya, well, what the heck. Hope your having fun Megan (you know I am)  
  
Meanwhile.lets just say ... From now on ok?  
  
*deeper in the cave, out of ear from M and S*  
  
Tabatha: Timmy! I'm stupid, and here comes the FBI!  
  
Timmy: I a fart head  
  
*foot steps*  
  
Mulder:whispers to Scully "There they are. Just follow my lead. Everyone is stupid in this show so this should take 3 minute maximum.  
  
Mulder: why hello Miss.  
  
Tabtha: hello sir, who might you be?  
  
Scully: this is my partner Mulder, I am Dana Scully. We are visiting in town with Ethan.  
  
Tabatha: it's a pleasure. So what are you doing out here?  
  
Mulder: well, my crazy relative Ethan told me there might be some "witches" and such out here.  
  
Scully: we work on special cases in the FBI called X-Files, involving paranormal. We really can't tell you much more (I'm sorry Scully, FORGIVE ME!)  
  
Tabatha: *sweats* O, I see.  
  
*pause*  
  
Mulder: so..are you a witch?  
  
Tabtha: um..hm.uh.hm.hm.NO!  
  
Scully: Alright, I'm sorry, mind if we make you hold this rock.  
  
Mulder: you see, if it glows, then you're a witch (I'm SORRY!!!)  
  
Scully: sorry, he's a little nutty. I just wanted to prove to him to stop the whole witch thing, and if it doesn't glow, he promised me he'd stop all this.  
  
Tabtha:uh.my hands are too dry  
  
Mulder: *shakes his head with pity* By the way, who's that little kid you have there?  
  
Scully: is that your son?  
  
Tabatha: No, it's my doll  
  
Scully: miss..aren't you old to be carrying a doll?  
  
Tabatha: well, uh,.i.belong in a mental instatute  
  
Scully:.  
  
Mulder: miss, looks like you just really screwed yourself  
  
Tabtha: *hold out hand *  
  
Timmy jumps to life  
  
Timmy: NOOOOO!  
  
*the stone glows, and my too favorite FBI agents don't look surprised*  
  
Scully: what now?  
  
Mulder: ah, nothing much. We'll just keep tabs on them. There too stupid to do much trouble, and if they do we'll come blow them up  
  
Scully: sounds ok to me. Lets go back to Ethens, I'm starved  
  
Meanwhile.(Old habbits die strong)  
  
Ethan: The truth is.  
  
Mulder: OUT THERE!  
  
Teresa: um. Would you please go away for a sec.  
  
Mulder: can we go get pizza?  
  
Ethan: ya, sure  
  
Scully: mm, I'm dying for pizza  
  
*they go away *  
  
Ethan: Teresaa, I..  
  
Teresa: U! U LIED!  
  
Ethan: actually, i didn't. I just withheld information. You're the onw who lies  
  
Teresa: tocha (that French thing, with the swords.means your right, I give, I see, you win)  
  
Ethan: well, me and Mr.Crane.we..  
  
Terssa:waa?  
  
This is the bets part folks. I'm so smart I thought of two different endings. First, ending one  
  
ENDING ONE  
  
Ethan: we are partners in a secret organization to take ovet the world!!! We are keeping the truth about aliens from the world and trying to take over the world!! BWA HAHAHAH!  
  
Teressa:..what does that have to do with u knowing I'm pregnent  
  
1 Mr.Crane comes in  
  
Mr.Crane: I got you pregnet because I like doing it with people who are sleeping, and we need an alien hybrid, o, ya, we are aliens also, anyway we need a hybrid to help us rule the world! Which is your kid!  
  
Teresa: ah, I guess that kind of makes sense  
  
Mr.Cranc: just say it does. But now that Ethan blowed our cover, we're going to have to..hm..uh *whispers to Ethan and he nods * Kill u? naa, um.. na, no memory earasing..hmm.. ah you will.. oh, you can just hang with us and play along. You still get to love Ethan and he's try to love you, and you can have an alien child and kinda live all happily ever after. Whadda ya say?  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Tabatha and Timmy ( K is with them( followed Mulder and Scully)  
  
Mulder: this is great pizza  
  
Scully: ya, but we better get upstairs. I bet you 10 bucks someones gonna die  
  
Mulder: deal  
  
*they run upstairs and over hear all that alien stuff  
  
Mulder crashes open the door with his gun and badge *  
  
Mulder: FBI!  
  
Scully: That's right!  
  
Ethan: Mulder don't do this too your own relative!  
  
Scully: so how are you guys related again  
  
Ethan: uh.well.we are  
  
Teresa :HELP!  
  
K, Timmy, and Tabatha come in  
  
Tabatha: we must stop all this evil stuff. We must all turn good!  
  
*they use there magic stuff to make everyone except Mulder and Scully lose there memory up to the time when Ethan ,messed things up. They then stich it all up so Ethan is just Mr.Crane's son and all that, no alien stuff. *  
  
Mulder: Tabatha! You jerk! All our hard work!  
  
Tabtha: sorry guys, but hey, you got a free pizza  
  
Scully: true  
  
Tabatha transports Mulder and Scully back to Mulders apartment, and then earase there own memory up to that time up to Ethens accident  
  
.  
  
well, that's pretty stupid huh?  
  
Heres  
  
ENDING 2  
  
(I think I like this better)  
  
Ethan: we are.. gay!  
  
Teresa: what?  
  
Ethan: me and Mr.Crane are gay!  
  
Mr.Crane comes in  
  
Mr.Crane: No lie. Me and Ethey here wanted a baby, but for obvious reasons we couldn't have one, so I used you  
  
Teresaa: that's sick. And aren't you guys like father anmd son. And there is help for that stuff.  
  
Mr.Crane: I don't think we are in blood. But hey it was hard for me to. U were like asleep stuff. Besides, I wanted a kid with my blood in it.  
  
Ethan: ya, it was close! I almost really caight you! I didn't mean to though. I had the wrong room number. Luckly it all worked out.  
  
Terssaa: well , I'm telling everyone the truth!  
  
Mr.Crane: O no you don't. if you do, we'll tell everyone you wanted to have sex with me!  
  
Ethan: and I'll play along  
  
Teresa being such an indiot agrees  
  
But.  
  
Mulder and Scully come  
  
Mulder:, I'm sorry but you just too damn stupid  
  
Scully: we're gonna have to shoot you or something  
  
Terssa: NOO!  
  
Scully: just kidding, we're good guys remember?  
  
Ethan: well, we're gonna kill you two because you ruined everything!  
  
Mulder: good for you Ethan old boy. How would u like to do that?  
  
Mr.Crane: we will wack you on the head with this paper towl  
  
They do so  
  
Mulder: * blinks * o.ya, well, this is funny and I'm not a bad guy so we'll just let you all settle this k?  
  
Scully: see ya guys  
  
Teresa: what about me?  
  
Scully: oh come on, we all know you wanted Mr.Crane to sleep with you  
  
Terssa: toucha(the French thing again)  
  
Mulder: we're gonna go kiss and be great friends. If you ever need someone smart, just call  
  
Ethan: you got it hommie  
  
Mulder and Scull transport away  
  
Teresa: well, looks like everything works out ok huh.  
  
Ethan: aww, I love you all. Lets hug and song the Barney song  
  
Everyone, including Mulder and Scully at Mulders apartment sing.. together now.  
  
I love you,  
  
You love me,  
  
We're a happy family  
  
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you  
  
Won't you say you love me too!  
  
THE END!  
  
Scully: hey Mulder, you owe me $20 bucks  
  
Mulder:?? What  
  
Scully: our bet  
  
Mulder: I owe you $10  
  
Scully: but there were two endings  
  
Mulder: ahh, but I only made the bet in one ending, remember  
  
Scully: ahh, tocha Mulder. Tocha  
  
THE REAL END!  
  
..I have no life 


End file.
